I failed...Again.

(I took 2 weeks to draft this…)

It’s been weeks since I’ve been absent

I know how that seems.

She is unprofessional and inconsistent…

She won’t be able to make it like this.

Perhaps, this time, the exhaustion is real.

No amount of sleep or rest is helping me feel good.

Because I am honestly craving some change in environment now.

Sometimes, you don’t just need a change in your mindset, and the need for discipline also doesn’t help, when the environment and people around you drain your energy.

Vibes and energy around you matter a lot.

But for me to get that change… It’s next to impossible.

Anyway, I have decided to just go with the flow, do as little as I can, but make sure to show up, do the things I can, and leave the rest to God.

Am I giving up?

Honestly, I am very close to, but then my big dreams keep reminding me I just can’t.

I don’t really have that as a choice itself.

So now, what’s the plan?

I have decided to use all my knowledge and skills to grow my art business, and when I feel better, I will be back to doing my business as a freelancer too.

Am I giving up being a copywriter, brand strategist, or freelancer?

No!

I am just pivoting for now and will be in touch with the market changes and trends to see how I can better fill in the gap.

Perhaps, the skills of copywriting and branding, those skills I will be using for myself, to grow as an artist.

I know for a lot of people, art and hand-made paintings are outdated now, it’s all AI-driven, no one invests in art, it’s just a hobby…

How can you take this big risk? artists don’t make money…

Yeah! I have heard all that jazz…

And, to some extent, I used to agree with it too.

That’s why I wanted to become that sassy bossy woman who will be not just an entrepreneur but also a creative nerd.

However, with my set limitations and environment, which hardly gives me any time on hand, and a load of expectations that I find it hard to carry.

I just couldn’t keep up sailing in 2 boats.

So I thought of choosing one and giving my best shot at it.

Does this mean I am giving up on being a copywriter and brand strategist?

No!

But since my major focus is financial independence and I want to focus on one thing that will also bring me peace, I choose art.

When life tries to knock me down, when I feel super fragile with all the stress and loneliness around, only a brush stroke and paint make me feel alive and give me peace.

I have talked about how the feeling of constant failures and fatigue is making me feel. (here)

So is this my last newsletter to you?

No!

Now, I will send newsletters on mindset, self-improvement, and tips and tricks I have learned to get my art business moving.

But if you are specifically looking for art-related newsletters, you can read them here.

I will also share things about my journey and personal essays on Medium. 

By the way, I'm taking a 30-day writing challenge on Medium; please follow me there. They will be random personal essays, including some life lessons…

I am also taking a 10-day mini watercolor painting challenge on Instagram.

This is to get myself out of my comfort zone, and help me get into a discipline and consistency mindset because I really am in dire need of it.

Currently, I feel really low and have like hit rock bottom, barely somehow surviving.

Hope these challenges help me navigate myself through the dark, get a better perspective, and find hope in life somehow…

So, to sum up:

You will find me on Instagram,

doing a short digital art in the mornings and posting first thing on my stories.

Reels with storytelling around my art and my journey.

You will get a monthly art newsletter on Substack.

Once a week, you will find me on my art YouTube Channel either doing a step-by-step painting process or sharing some tips and tricks.

For the next 30 days, you will find me on Medium posting some random but meaningful blog posts.

A very Happy Eid to all of you, and I hope you have a blessed festive weekend.

See you next Wednesday.